To solve this issue, Tom can listen to Mary without offering solutions unless she specifically asks for help.

In both cases, Tom and Mary try to fulfill each other’s needs the wrong way, so they end up fighting. Mary feels sad because Tom isn’t talking about what’s bothering him as she does. He only feels the need to talk to Mary about a problem when he wants her to give him a solution. Tom, on the other hand, wants to solve his work-related issues in solitude or by taking his mind off work while watching TV.

This upsets Mary since she only needs Tom to listen to help her feel better. Tom, being the problem-solver he is, starts offering solutions. As they both sit down for dinner, Mary starts talking about how her boss is making her work too much. If you want to save this summary for later, download the free PDF and read it whenever you want.ĭownload PDF Lesson 1: Men need to process their problems in their head while women want verbal communication.Īfter a long day at work, Tom and Mary come home with work-related issues on their mind.

Let’s look more closely at these distinctions between men and women! Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus Summary Women and men communicate differently and assign separate meanings to the same words.Men are motivated when they feel useful, women are inspired when they feel loved.Women want men to listen to them while men desire solutions to problems.Here are my 3 favorite lessons from the book: This knowledge will improve your relationship and resolve many of the struggles that arise from misunderstandings.

Once you know how you and your partner differ, you’ll see each other from a new perspective and understand each other better. If you’re among the many who find it difficult to read the opposite gender, John Gray‘s Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus: The Classic Guide to Understanding the Opposite Sexwill enlighten you. They have distinct emotional needs and communication preferences. Like Tom and Mary, many couples fall into such patterns that turn a loving relationship into a failed one. They simply fail to understand the differences between men and women. Tom and Mary have a relationship in which they are tired of dealing with the same issues over and over again.

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